Whip me, spank me, beat me!  I know I haven’t written in about a week.  I will do better, I promise!

You almost weren’t going to get anything this week, but I was out running and thought of you!

The sidewalks in my neighborhood SUCK and a couple of days ago I saw this:

Now clearly the sidewalk is Fucked all to Hell and should have been replaced about 5 years ago before plants and grass started growing in the middle of it.  I’m not Rocket Scientist, but I’m guessing the spray painted markings mean that some “expert” from the city has noticed the sidewalk and identified that it needs to be fixed.

(By the way, please don’t Stalk me now that you have a picture of my neighborhood.)

Let’s take a closer look:

Clearly the white X indicates that a complete block of sidewalk needs to be replaced, perhaps so you can distinguish that from the cases where they come by and just replace half a sidewalk tile.  (What do you mean they never replace half a sidewalk tile?)  Then there is an orange line there on the piece that’s sticking up which maybe means “Whoa!  Damn” and then there’s an orange circle which is probably where the guy marking the sidewalk peed.

Now these markings brought up a lot of questions for me.

First of all, how do you get the gig where your job is to walk around and paint an X on sidewalks that need to be replaced?  What’s that pay and where do I apply?

But the more serious question that comes to mind is, “is that seriously necessary?”  Is the Fucking work crew so damned Retarded that they can’t see the sidewalk is smashed and that there is grass and plants growing in the middle of it?”  They need an X and orange lines for that?  Couldn’t the spray paint guy just tell them where the sidewalk is Fucked and when the crew comes out they’ll see it?  Are you telling me if Mister-X-Guy put an X on a good piece of sidewalk the crew would replace it anyway?

Too many questions, too little time.