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Jun 01

Groupon PoopOn

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Who doesn’t want $60 for $30?  That’s free money.  It’s better than going out on a date, because this way I don’t have to put out.  But damned if any of the Groupons I did turned out like that.

First try at a Groupon was about a year ago, for a Chinese place that I hadn’t gone to awhile because they were overpriced and had gotten a little nasty.  But the Groupon said it was for double the money and that sounded like a good deal to me.  Looking at their website, I confirmed they had an “all you can eat crab” option for a little more, so basically the Groupon would cover the meal + the crab.  I checked their website to be sure, saw they still had crab offer and then ordered the Groupon.  Happy Dance!

But at the restaurant they told me, “No! No! No Crab anymore!”  When I went home I checked their website again, and they’d changed it after they sold the freakin’ Groupons!  Dayumn!

Strike 1 for Groupon.

I’m a forgiving kind of gal, so when I saw a Groupon for this chic  Mongolian restaurant where you take fresh ingredients, put them in a bowl and they stir fry them for you, they’d hooked me again.  They even described filling your bowl and getting it stir-fried on the the Groupon page.  Turned out though that people with Groupons don’t get to do the bowl shit.  They made up a special menu for Groupon people with prices 3 times the regular prices.

Strike 2 for Groupon.

It looks better online!

Then my next attempt was for a wash and wax on my car at a super-duper-Groupon price.  But after they got the money, bastards get saying they didn’t have the time on their schedule to come out and wash my freakin’ car.

Strike 3 for Groupon.

Now before you call me a sucker,  I have to let you know I”m a tough Bitch.  So you should know each time the Groupon turned out to be phoney, I called them on it and kept getting Groupon bucks back on my account.

So with the boo·koo-Groupon bucks I had in credit, I thought I’d give it one more shot.

A Groupon popped up for an “All you can Eat Crab” place so I thought I could finally get the crab I was owed.  Do I need to tell you what happened?   The Crab Special wasn’t included in the Groupon deal.  But you could get a “special. ” They had the same kind of “special” that the Mongolian place had — you could buy off the menu where they’d tripled the prices.

Strike 4 for Groupon.  Groupon you’re out + 1.

Anyone want some Groupon bucks?  I’ll make you a deal.

10 comments

2 pings

  1. website

    After I start your Feed it seems to be a lot of nonsense, is the problem on my part?

    1. readthisshit

      Thank you for interest in subscribing to the feed! I think the problem is that you are a bot!

    2. John Turner

      “Nonsense”?? What a fucking idiot. This shit is the best read on the internet……….and I read……ALOT.

  2. Daniela

    i fully agree with you on these fake deals they offer.

  3. Maria Moura

    this blog rocks.

  4. Carlinha

    just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that i have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. any way i’ll be subscribing to your feed and i hope you post again soon

  5. Cassilda

    you know how to take the attention of the readers with such good ideas.

  6. Eloida

    I find the groupons to be a rip-off too.

  7. Fani

    interesting. thanks for sharing. we don’t have groupon here in India.

  8. Susan

    i would like to acquire your groupon bucks if you don’t want them :) thanks, how can i get them? Susan Leath

  1. British Petroleum Cured My Crabs and I want $50,000! | readthisshit.com

    [...] Groupon PoopOn [...]

  2. Groupon PoopOn II » readthisshit.com

    [...] that sounds like my Groupon PoopOn post from June 1st!  And if you want to read some of my personal experiences with Groupon, check out that [...]

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